There's a pile of topics I could talk about today. I could talk about the folks that say I like Bernie Sanders but he's never gonna win. I could talk more about the intern-mental line of thinking that Donald Trump wants to institute. I could talk about terror attacks. I could talk about gun control. But it's all so heavy and frankly a week from today it'll be the Eve of Christmas Eve and I think I'd like to keep it light today.
So my topic of choice? Can someone explain to me why I don't have my own reality show? Seriously! Have you seen some of the crap that's on TV right now? Personal trainer wars, my diet is better than your diet. Housewives of New York, Atlanta, New Jersey, Orange County, Beverly Hills; did I miss any? If you have more than six kids you're now in the running for your own reality show. If you have more than two kids and you're a dwarf ... you've got your own reality show. The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Top Model, Big Brother, Pawn Stars, Teen Mom, Married at First Sight, Mob Wives, Sister Wives, they even have one out there about people fighting over junk other people have abandoned called Storage Wars.
Given all of that, why isn't someone beating down my door to do a reality show about a middle-aged guy who's a morning show jock on a small town classic rock radio station who trains for endurance events? They could call it "Mud Dux" (except we would be like the other Duck reality show that got all self-righteous and all of them looked like ZZ Top stunt doubles.). They could follow me and my trainer partner Dieter around through all of our exploits of training for our next endurance event.
Because, let's face it, the standard we have for what we view on TV is at an all-time low. The drivel the networks put out is barely entertainment and the reality programs the cable networks pump out is absolute trash. Did you know that there is a program called Naked and Afraid? Let me give you the Readers Digest version: give me your clothes, here's your knife and some unfamiliar terrain see you in a month! Oh, and don't forget your camera crew. If this show hadn't lasted more than two or three episodes I'd say I had no grounds for asking the world to watch me train for my next Ironman. But it did last and in fact is still on, so I'm asking what's a Mud Duck to do?
I honestly believe the longer you watch, the dumber you get, especially if you are a fan of the Kardashians. Honestly, I can't find anyone who likes that show, yet they stay in the news cycle like a Trump racist statement! How is that possible? I'm guessing it's the area we live, because surely people like the Kardashians aren't looking towards Vermont or New Hampshire for ratings so they play to the bigger audiences. But here's the thing I really don't get. It's reality TV, right? Yet, it's almost as scripted as sitcom TV. So the fact that they call it reality is a joke.
So, I need to call my agent (I need to maybe get one first), and find out what it's gonna take for me to have my own reality show. Because right now the bar is pretty low and I feel like I can offer any cable channel that's willing to give me a shot. Perhaps Animal Planet! What the hell is up with that?