What we have here is one major conundrum: Two political parties each having their very own anti-establishment person. I will go out on a limb here and try and guess which ones are the establishment folks and which are not.
First let's start with what I believe to be the establishment politicians. Ladies and gentleman, for the Democrats we have Hillary Rodham Clinton. She might not share all the ideals of your prototypical establishment politician, which may be because she doesn't have testosterone clouding her better judgement. Because let's face it, if Hillary was a guy she would be in a charcoal gray suit with a red power tie wearing $500 loafers and getting $300 haircuts in a plane the campaign is paying for.
For the Republicans, we've got Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio. Ted Cruz a little less so than Rubio but that's only because he's as dumb as the day is long. Even though Rubio has a better rap, it's rehearsed and often feels that way. Oh Yeah, then there's John Kasich, who by the way abuses the red power tie so much that when he occasionally changes to a blue one, nobody recognizes him.
Now the moment you've all been waiting for, in the Red corner hailing from Queens, New York, who thinks it's not a building until his name hangs in gold on the front – 69-year-old Donald J Trump. This 1 percenter is out for victory and victory at all cost. He does not care whose life he ruins in the process, but yet, he'll promise to make your life great again! He says what he wants and when he wants; if he gets blow back for it, he doesn't walk it back! NO!!! He doubles down as only the failed owner of a casino would, only in this political climate that move keeps coming up cherries.
In the Blue Corner hailing from Brooklyn, New York, who has been sticking to the issues since the 1960s and is the only candidate that can't take cheap shots at Trumps hair. is 74-year-old Bernie Sanders! This 99 percenter is out for victory with integrity. He absolutely refuses to do anything other than discuss the issues. He doesn't have a good foreign policy, but he has a good domestic policy because, after all, the model we've been following (helping others before we help ourselves) really hasn't been working.
When you think of the two candidates you can't walk away from the fact that they are both a pain in the sides of anyone defining themselves as an establishment politicians. But why? Well I can only guess, and I only have 700 words in which to do it, so here we go. Rouge people are hard to predict and hard to convince, they'll do things that aren't popular with the Senate or the House. Backroom deals won't mean anything anymore and funding for pork projects will fall to more important things. For the record, I don't think building walls in important but then again, from what I understand, we're not gonna pay for it. So if I were to hazard a guess that's it, nobody really wants either of these guys at the top of the food chain for that reason, it's inconvenient.
Let's dig one more layer deep, shall we? Trump, the only people that seem to want him are the voting public and that can't happen. The RNC would like to stuff him in a cannon and shoot him into space. These guys are literally pulling their hair out trying to figure out what is going to be the final straw that pulls the shine off this star. It's a real head scratcher Meanwhile, guys that could probably step forward in this race and inflict some damage, like Mitt Romney, are busy endorsing Marco Rubio (which is about as impactful as me telling you that I had a turkey sandwich for lunch). At least Bernie's chosen party isn't trying to figure out how to oust him (well, at least not out loud).
Super Tuesday is less than a week away, and I for one will be clutching my seat to see how this plays out. But no matter what the outcome is, trust this: I will be saying What the Hell is up with that?
Fish is the opinionated morning jock on Classic Hits 92.7. He offers up his opinion at 7:50 a.m. every morning (Monday through Friday). Let's start the revolution. E-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org