The natives are settling arguments by flinging insults and dung at one another only to discover that the fight never ends. Billionaires are sending their children to spend time with known advisors of the state on a secluded beach. Meanwhile back at the ranch a plan is hatching to put people, innocent people as well as the not so innocent on lists and catalog them with little or no vetting process — let's just say they're picking by skin tone. Then we cut to the scene where proof of corruption is taking place right in front of the citizens of a nation who act as though they are powerless to do anything about it because, let's face it, they must be too big to fail. Meantime in the garages, backrooms and basements a movement is forming, a voice is bubbling to the surface. A voice that was losing its strength but instead has had some life blown back into it, that voice ... for more on this story tune in to the next episode Tuesday, Nov. 8.
If it sounds like I just saw the new Jason Bourne movie, truth be told, I did. Unfortunately, none of those things took place on the big screen I watched. They took place on the small screen in my living room, which actually unfolded on a national platform. And the entire time I had a look on my face that suggested I might have just fallen into my neighbor's sewer. I can't ever remember a time in my life where I scratched my head so many times because of things that actually seem to pass some sort of new litmus test of morality. Honestly, if this stuff doesn't slow down I'm gonna pierce my frontal lobe with my index finger, or at the very least need some triple antibiotic ointment to fight off an infection.
I'm not going to takes sides, but I do want to point this out because frankly it just seemed odd. I mean so odd that it makes email scandals and charitable foundations seem ... honestly, like Sunday morning cartoons. But $12.7 million in alleged payments to Paul Manafort, Trump's campaign manager coming from the Ukraine? Along with the rumors that Trump himself has had business dealings with Putin himself? And that Invanka is in Croatia and has been rumored to see Putin's main squeeze? If you listen, and look to the Southeast, you will most likely see the plume of grey matter that once resided inside my head and is now infecting plant life. Now if we were to, say, flip this story around and replace the word Trump, with the word Hillary, and Ivanka with Chelsea, the Dems would be singing the REM tune. "It's the end of the world as we know it," and they can pretty much crawl into a hole and die.
Maybe that's just a little dramatic, but you and I know it's true. You and I know that if the same things were happening to the Clintons, the villagers would get their pitchforks and set their torches ablaze and go straight after anything with a D in front of it. Now maybe this story hasn't unfolded enough, and maybe enough information hasn't been released about it. I suppose that all of that is possible. But it would seem to me that those who define themselves as conservatives would want the Clintons drawn and quartered and wouldn't want to wait until tomorrow.
Again, I'm not taking sides, I'm not advocating for anyone, I'm just speaking on things I've witnessed and once again left scratching through the epidural layers of my scalp. You can't write this script, you can only witness it and wonder ... what the hell is up with that?
Fish is the opinionated morning jock on Classic Hits 92.7. He offers up his opinion at 7:50 a.m. every morning (Monday through Friday). Let's start the revolution. E-mail him at email@example.com. The opinions expressed by columnists do not necessarily reflect the views of the Brattleboro Reformer.