Some advice from Mom

Be sure to wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident.

Waste not, want not.

Clean your plate. Think of those poor starving children in China...Europe...Armenia...Africa....

I won't let you go out with any boy who won't come to the door or beeps his horn and won't come in the house to meet me.

Girls like boys who are clean and neat and who keep their shoelaces tied.

Don't marry a man who can't build a fire.

Stand up straight!

No flies on you, spiders have eaten 'em all.

After I had been injured playing rugby and was hoping for a little sympathy, "Serves you right for playing such daft games."

Change the name but not the letter, marry for worse and not for better.

Dear me suz.

Be sure to shake hands with a firm grip. No wet fish handshakes, it leaves an impression that you are weak.

If you stay home sick, you can't go out to play.

Be sure to wear your stockings, and don't go bare legged.

Go ahead and cry, you'll pee less.

Don't

Don't talk to strangers.

Always talk with strangers; you'll learn something new.

Always sit up straight with your ankles crossed and your dress below your knee.

If all the other kids were going to jump off a bridge, would you do it too?

Don't raise your hands above your head when you're pregnant or you'll hang your baby.

My stars!

You may not know it now, but you'll miss me when I'm gone.

You'll take yourself wherever you go.

Never kiss by the garden gate. Love is blind but the neighbors ain't.

Don't go out without your lipstick.

Don't wear pants on a first date; men like to see a little bit of what they're buying.

Don't eat graham crackers in bed unless you like sleeping with the crumbs.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Take care of your pennies; the dollars will take care of themselves.

Shame on you.

If you don't toot your own horn, nobody else will.

Finish playing with one toy before you take out another.

Leave things better than the way you found them.

If you've not got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Birth and death are messy businesses.

Share and share alike.

Take a sweater honey, it will get colder later.

Kill them with kindness.

Celery seed is the secret to great deviled eggs.

No good can come of that.

Don't swallow your bubble gum or when you pass gas you'll be blowing a bubble.

You got to put the past behind you before you can move on.

Don't take more than a mouthful at one time, and put down your fork between bites.

If you want to see what he'll be like as a husband, watch how he acts with his mother.

Feed a cold, starve a fever.

Don't brag.

Nothing good ever came out of nothing.

You can't trust somebody who doesn't like kids or animals.

You've always had a taste for champagne on a beer budget.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Finish what you start.

You made that bed, now lay in it.

A woman's hair is her crowning glory.

Idle hands are the devil's workshop.

Wash your face and hands before you go to bed.

Because....

You can do anything you set your mind to.

Marry up.

Never trust a man who says, "Trust me."

Don't go on feeling sorry for yourself, somebody else always has it worse than you do.

Stand up straight!

Remember dear, moderation!

"Ahyu"

You should write a book.

"Even when you don't feel like going somewhere, once you get there and see your friends, you'll have a good time."

Enjoy this time now, because the older you get, the faster time will fly by.

Where there is a will, there's a way.

The readiness is all.

You don't get a second chance to make a good first impression.

I'll ask you the first time, I'll tell you the next. (So you may as well do it the first time).

I wouldn't repeat the words my Mom said!

Hang tough!

God's time is the best time.

Fran Lynggaard Hansen writes her weekly column, "Downstreet," from her Brattleboro home. She welcomes your comments at franlynggaardhansen@yahoo.com.