The Twinkie has returned! That little piece of spongy matter with the chemically enhanced cream filling and the 35-year shelf life. Well, as of this past Monday the Twinkie has re-entered our lives (about 10 percent smaller). It first came to being in 1930, so for 80 plus years this golden sponge with creamy sugary goodness inside plagued our very existence. Let’s be honest, show of hands, when was the last time you even ate a Twinkie? Very few of you I’m sure, which is why they went out of business in the first place. But being a sentimental guy and understanding that the Twinkie was as much of the landscape as apple pie, baseball and Chevrolet, I hated the run to come to an end. But also, when you’re using Monoglycerides and diglycerides in your product so you don’t have to use eggs it can’t be all bad.
Okay, so we’ve established that the Twinkie isn’t good for you, but it is an American Institution so we’ll allow it to be sold I guess. But what about the burger that uses two pieces of lasagna as the bun? Did we need that? The answer is no! But you can get it in Philadelphia and all you have to do to order it is step up to the counter and ask for the Kevorkian Special, or simply say you’d like to die.
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times, what is our fascination with slow death? Why do we consistently eat these types of foods like we’re carnival workers with an endless supply of fried Snickers Bars? In another life I worked for a company that put me on the road to a ton. While in Texas once I heard the following words used in the same sentence for the first time, "Would you like to try our chicken fried steak?" At the time I was a large man myself, perhaps approaching 300 pounds - but even I couldn’t bring myself to allow them to drop a perfectly good piece of beef into a fryolater and call it dinner.
There are restaurants in this country that serve food so unhealthy that you literally have to sign a disclaimer that you might drop dead eating their food. So what’s the obsession all about? Why are we so hell bent on eating so badly? I guess we’re not eating like this all the time right? Wrong! When McDonalds, Burger King, KFC more or less dictate how our everyday food is processed then we’re really not eating as well as we can. But, as long as we’re not going crazy and eating in moderation all should be well. If you’re occasionally dabbling in the burger with the Kripsy Kream donut as the bun I guess no harm no foul. Sort of like tying one on with your friends, occasionally it just has to be done. But if you’re eating this stuff all the time and you’re okay with sacrificing a foot to diabetes one day, then it may be time to get a checkup from the neck up because you’re not doing yourself any favors.
Anyway, The Twinkie has returned! The spongy American goodness! If you were one of the folks that purchased a box on Ebay for $500 then I can tell you that you wasted your money. If you paid more than $3.99 a box then you wasted your money, because all you really have now is a box of pre-owned Twinkies that you can’t give away. What the hell is up with that?