Fish: Politics — an American crap sandwich


Twelve years after the passing of Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper, Don McLean wrote "American Pie," an eight-minute American music history lesson that also honored the three above mentioned (mostly Buddy Holly). However, it has long-been rumored that many of the references made in the song are about specific artists of the time. The line, "And while the king was looking down, the jester stole his thorny crown," has been interpreted as a reference to Bob Dylan overtaking Elvis Presley as the No. 1 artist at the time. The line "I met a girl who sang the blues," is supposedly about Janis Joplin, and "The quartet practiced in the park," about the Beatles performing at Shea Stadium. There are many interpretations.

But here's one thing you may or may not know about the tune: Don McLean wanted to write a political song. Well ... what if he were writing that tune today? I can tell you this, it wouldn't be called "American Pie." "American Crap Sandwich" would be more appropriate. He would make more references to the day democracy died; we know who the lady singing the blues is and we would most certainly know who the jester is!

McLean is well outside of his relevant years and certainly has his own set of problems right now, but if he could write a song about the current state of American politics, it would most likely be nine hours long ... and angry.

What's going on in the political landscape is bizarre! It leaves me shaking my head in utter disbelief. For instance, did we just go through a debate where presidential candidates, people who want to run the most powerful country in the world, talked about the size of their underwear parts? The answer is — YES!!! So, if you're scoring at home, apparently, in 2016, size matters!

But here's the thing that I can't get through my admittedly thick skull. Donald Trump is the front runner in the GOP. Agree, disagree, like, don't like — it doesn't matter, the people are choosing him (see, for the people by the people ... plus or minus a super delegate. And as an aside, Lincoln's speech was never fact checked, so what does any of it mean?). Now, clearly, the GOP is completely up in arms about Trump, they don't want him anywhere near the Grand Old Party. In fact, they've taken to dusting off some Stepford Republicans to bad mouth him. I think at this point it's safe to say, I ain't voting for Trump! But it's also safe to say, that if you want to, I will stand shoulder to shoulder with you and defend your right to choose him, but please note that the entire time you're doing it I will question your mental capacity and cognitive abilities and may be forced to shout at you "What the hell went wrong in your life?"

As an American citizen it is your right to cast a vote for The Donald, if that is who you choose. It is your choice and it's one of the few choices we can actually make, and I'll be damned if I'm going to idly stand by while we're stripped of it.

On the Democratic ticket, it's business as usual. You've only got two candidates to choose from and they both aren't doing anything overtly bizarre. In fact, when they try and get mean it just doesn't feel right, so they stop. So if it's theatre you want, it's the GOP all day long. We've heard a little of everything in that race, and they actually have a good candidate that can't get a word in edgewise!

All of them hold up Ronald Reagan and Abe Lincoln as the end-all, be-all of presidents, yet none of them emulate either. It's incredible they can mention Reagan and Lincoln in one sentence and then hand size the next. Nancy Reagan died just in time, she's in a better place — nowhere near this version of the Republican Party. What the hell is up with that?

Fish is the opinionated morning jock on Classic Hits 92.7. He offers up his opinion at 7:50 a.m. every morning (Monday through Friday). Let's start the revolution. E-mail him at


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