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I’ve talked to your mother and I’ve talked to your dad

They say they’ve tried but it’s all in vain

I’ve begged and I’ve pleaded, I even got mad

Now we must face it, you give me a pain

How can I miss you when you won’t go away?

Keep telling you day after day

But you won’t listen, you always stay and stay

How can I miss you when you won’t go away?

Your never-ending presence really cramps my style

I dream that it won’t always be the same

At first I was attracted but after a while

Have you ever heard of the hard-to-get game?

How can I miss you when you won’t go away?

I keep telling you day after day

But you won’t listen, you always stay and stay

How can I miss you when you won’t go away?

And I mean it, too

Out of three billion people, why must it be me?

Oh, why, oh, why won’t you cut me loose?

Just do me a favor and listen to my plea

I’m not the only chicken on the roost

How can I miss you when you won’t go away?

I keep telling you day after day

But you won’t listen, you always stay and stay

How can I miss you when you won’t go away?

— Dan Hicks, 1969

In 1969 I was 18. Things were cranking. Some of the best bands in the history of the planet were blasting through the dashboard of my 1959 Morris Minor 1000 on AM radio, no less. Woodstock. The Beatles. The Rolling Stones. The Who. It was an amazing time to be around.

Creeping out of the din of the background noise was a guy named Dan Ivan Hicks. He started a sort of country/bluegrass/bluesy/funky band called Dan Hicks and His Hot Licks. He wrote the song above in 1969 and from the moment I heard it that song has been in my head for 51 years. I have used the title/chorus line umpteen zillion times over the years when contemplating why some annoying creature won’t just go away.

Dan Hicks has been dead for some years now. Were he still with us I bet he’d get quite a kick out of just how relevant a song that he wrote in 1969 is today. The universe sure does work in mysterious ways. I’m guessing that only diehard Dan Hicks fans have ever heard of this song, say nothing about applying it to what’s happening in America as I type this.

We had an election. Joe Biden received 80 million votes; the most ever cast for anyone in a presidential election. He won 306 electoral votes. That is the same number that the current president won by and declared it to be a landslide victory.

Since I first learned about Donald Trump I immediately had the impression that he was little more than a spoiled, rich kid; a charlatan, a phony. Nearly every action he took proved my instincts correct. Like the slimy guy at the state fair who’s leaning out to you to take the rings to toss in his rigged game, Trump is the guy you’d walk away from. You just knew there was something off with this guy. If you were lucky you figured it out right away. If not, there goes your money.

Everyone, including Trump, knows that he’s lost. Yet every day I have received at least a dozen emails dunning me for money for the “Election Defense Fund.” Like every single thing this man has done, this too, is a fraud. If you’re dumb enough to contribute $1,000, the first $600 goes to Trump’s new PAC that he set up a couple of weeks ago. The remaining $400 goes to the RNC. You have to contribute over $8,000 for one dollar to go to the fake Election Defense Fund.

Trump is hinting that he’s not going to leave, that the election is fraught with fraud (it wasn’t), that he was cheated (he’s the cheater) and that he won. Yes, on Friday he said that he won.

Why is he destroying our democracy on his way out the door? Because it’s all he knows how to do. He’s never known what it meant to be President of the United States. He’s never had any class, which explains his hatred of former President Barack Obama.

Donald J. Trump will forever be a sad figure in American history. A conman who, with some help from Russia, became president. A man who on day one disgraced this nation with his words and deeds. Now, thankfully, it’s over. He and his sycophants must now pack their bags and crawl back into the swamp that Trump promised to drain, but only filled up to record levels; his number 1 lie of the 20,000-plus lies he’s told us.

Come January 20th Dan Hicks’ request will finally be acknowledged. It’s about time.

Bob Stannard writes a regular column for the Bennington Banner. The opinions expressed by columnists do not necessarily reflect the views of the Brattleboro Reformer.

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